This embryo that sits in the freezer
Will I ever meet her?
Will she call me mum?
Or will I go to all that trouble and she’ll be gone
The operation that must be had
Only because they shut the hospitals down
If the Crawley maternity ward was still open
Would I have been slit in two?
Would I have panicked for months on end
Knowing that a drive of 30 miles
And being a geriatric mother could cost him his life
Would I have chosen to give birth naturally?
Or would I have elected to go under the knife?
The drive of a hundred miles to have undone how my body had healed
After they cut me three layers deep
When I even missed out on the kiss he was blowing me
As I held him for the first time
I even missed out seeing that kiss a few days after he arrived
As I was pumped with drugs
And I happily posted on my Facebook
And a friend, I hadn’t seen for years celebrated his arrival
Needless did she know I was crying from the inside
How the hospital abandoned me after I was pumped with morphine for days on end
How that trolley was so heavy
As I carried myself and my baby through those heavy double doors
How I had no strength to stand aside and pull that door open so I could go outside
As I pushed what felt like a fish tank containing the jewel I had given birth to
One that did not come naturally and was placed inside
How could I bond with that baby? I thought to myself
Did I really know what I was doing?
What was going to become of my life?
I must have been misguided for giving them a second chance
How could I have been so foolish?
After all, what had I seen after giving my all?
Must I celebrate this strife?
®Trade Mark No: UK00003778364 Mark: iandyoumatter (Figurative) Owner: iandyoumatter ltd Class(es): 35,38,41,45
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